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On Being a Prophet

First, if you are any of the following you cannot be a prophet:

  1. A Politician
  2. A Rock Star
  3. An Actor

However, if you are any of the following you have a shot at becoming a prophet (though usually it will require you to leave these professions):

  1. A farmer
  2. A lawyer
  3. A soldier

And if you are any of the following you have 0.01% chance of being a prophet:

  1. A Theology Blogger
  2. A Clergy Member
  3. An Academic of any kind

To best improve your chances of obtaining prophethood, the most important thing you can do is pursue and agrarian career and generally dislike talking to people. Your chances improve if you instinctively fight with God over whether or not you have to tell people the stuff he says.

16 Comments

  1. Roger Flyer wrote:

    ? lawyers and soldiers?
    and no rock stars?

    Halden have you been drinking microbrews?

    Thursday, January 22, 2009 at 5:41 pm | Permalink
  2. kim fabricius wrote:

    The 0.01% are damned good odds.

    Thursday, January 22, 2009 at 6:10 pm | Permalink
  3. Dale wrote:

    very prophetic of you!
    (oops, you’re a theology blogger! :D )

    Thursday, January 22, 2009 at 6:42 pm | Permalink
  4. Halden wrote:

    Always Roger. Actually I had two specific examples in mind: William Stringfellow and Andrew Bacevich.

    Especially Stringfellow.

    Thursday, January 22, 2009 at 7:06 pm | Permalink
  5. I guess his rock star status is very disputable, but what about someone like Aaron Weiss?

    Thursday, January 22, 2009 at 8:15 pm | Permalink
  6. Steve wrote:

    Bob Dylan never wrote on the subway walls himself, did he?

    Thursday, January 22, 2009 at 8:57 pm | Permalink
  7. Halden wrote:

    Dylan I’d maybe almost consider, but my main point about all this is that Bono sucks and should never be mentioned in the same sentence with the word prophetic.

    Friday, January 23, 2009 at 1:03 am | Permalink
  8. Roger Flyer wrote:

    Oh oh. Here come the U2 zealots out of the closet! Bloody sunday coming…

    Friday, January 23, 2009 at 7:10 am | Permalink
  9. Tim F wrote:

    Can one want to be a prophet and still be one?

    Tim

    Friday, January 23, 2009 at 11:22 am | Permalink
  10. Halden wrote:

    I suspect not.

    Friday, January 23, 2009 at 11:30 am | Permalink
  11. N. Dan Smith wrote:

    @Tim – probably not.

    “But in retrospect, I would have rather been a poet, or a farmer.” ~ Mason in The Rock. The Rock is the most quotable movie ever, even in theological blog comments. Amen.

    Friday, January 23, 2009 at 11:35 am | Permalink
  12. roger flyer wrote:

    Who would want to be a prophet?

    For the litmus test for the role of prophet is suffering.

    Rejected, betrayed, scandalized, persecuted, scorned, ridiculed. Or worse– marginalized, ignored, whipped, chained, shot, sawn in two.

    The very nature of the prophet’s call means ‘we’ must kill her.

    Friday, January 23, 2009 at 11:40 am | Permalink
  13. poserorprophet wrote:

    I thought suffering was the litmus test for all followers of Jesus. The question, then, is who would want to be a Christian?

    (The answer to which can be found in Ellul’s “The Subversion of Christianity”.)

    Saturday, January 24, 2009 at 9:49 am | Permalink
  14. bobby grow wrote:

    I thought all Christians were prophets, to follow Dan’s point — or least supposed to be.

    Saturday, January 24, 2009 at 4:58 pm | Permalink
  15. Roger Flyer wrote:

    I suffer– therefore I am a Christian and a prophet.

    Sunday, January 25, 2009 at 8:10 am | Permalink
  16. Dan wrote:

    Oh dear, I wouldn’t want to be part of any religion that considered me a prophet.

    ;) apologies to Groucho Marx

    Tuesday, January 27, 2009 at 7:43 pm | Permalink

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