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New Christian Book Ideas

The Internet Monk has a rather hilarious list of potential new Christian books he’s working on. A few of my favorites:

The Snack: The Snack is the story of a man who receives a message from God in a Little Debbie oatmeal cake and is told by God to meet him at the Montgomery Biscuits’ stadium for a weekend series. There God appears to him as an umpire, a vendor and a little kid who keeps kicking his seat..

Twilight: The Christian Version: Christian vampires in Arkansas have been living peacefully in their out-of-the-way compound until one of them starts a CCM group and falls for a groupie. Lots of scenes of the young lady admiring her vampire boyfriend’s ESV Study Bible and protecting her from liberal Methodists.

Exposing The Scandal of Christian Stay-At-Home Dads: In the midst of a complementarian revival, some men refuse to take off the apron and put down the diapers. This book will examine the damage being done to Christian children whose mothers are doctors and whose dads stay home to cook and care for them.

Mark Driscoll’s Really Awful Sermons on The Song of Solomon Illustrated: Available under the counter. ID required.

N.T. Wright Is A Cross-Dressing Communist Sissy Who Cheats At Scrabble And Really Worships The Devil: I’d serve as editor for this serious and dispassionate examination of N.T. Wright by various well-known reformed bloggers.

Jesus Wants You Rich! And Driving A Porsche! With Two Hot Blonds Inside!: A basic guide to American approaches to discipleship.

My Journey to Cleveland, Tennessee: With all the “My Journey To Rome” type books, I thought I could convert to a well known Pentecostal denomination, and describe the various steps in the process. “I found myself strangely drawn to the idea of pushing people until they fell on the carpet.”

How to Waste Time Watching TV and Movies and Call It “Sermon Research.”: Again, self-explanatory.

Love Is An Irritation: A Christian young man has three friends reveal that they’re gay, so he begins a ministry to be as irritating to as many gays as possible in revenge. Soon is speaking in churches all over the midwest.


  1. Nathan Smith wrote:

    The Prayer of Jabez: How the prayer of an obscure Old Testament character, if prayed regularly, can unlock the richness of God’s material blessings.

    Oh wait . . .

    Friday, May 22, 2009 at 9:22 am | Permalink
  2. Alejandro wrote:

    My vote is for the Wright book. I can’t wait.

    Friday, May 22, 2009 at 12:08 pm | Permalink
  3. Nate wrote:

    Your Best Lie Now: Joel Osteen, but with devil horns and an obnoxious blowhard doing amateurish street theater.

    Oh wait…

    Saturday, May 23, 2009 at 1:19 pm | Permalink

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