Anybody found one that tops this?
It’s from the “Hymn to Atum,” an Egyptian creation myth from the Old Kingdom (2575-2134 BCE):
When I first began to create
When I alone was planning and designing many creatures,
I had not sneezed Shu the wind,
I had not spat Tefnut the rain,
There was not a single living creature.
I planned many living creatures;
All were in my heart, and their children and their grandchildren.
Then I copulated with my own fist.
I masturbated with my own hand.
I ejaculated into my own mouth.
I sneezed to create Shu the wind,
I spat to create Tefnut the rain.
Old Man Nun reared them;
Well, the world wasn’t just gonna create itself!